The Chaotic Chronicles of the Digital Dunes Golf League: When Par Meets Paranoia

*Sidelining with the Unstoppable Will 'It Go In' deHole: A One-on-One with “The Sandlot Samurai” — Benny “The Bubblegum Bandit” McFlex* --- **Will 'It Go In' deHole:** Alright folks, strap in because today we’re catching up with the legend himself, Benny “The Bubblegum Bandit” McFlex. Benny, tell us—what’s your secret? Is it the bubblegum, the yoga, or the fact you’ve actually convinced your caddy to be a life coach? **Benny “The Bubblegum Bandit” McFlex:** (Laughs, chews gum loudly) Will, my man, it’s all about sticking to what works—so I chew my bubblegum like I’m trying to summon a unicorn, and I stretch like I’m trying to touch my shoe laces with my nose. Plus, I’ve got a superstition where I only wear socks with holes, ’cause apparently, “hole-y golf equals hole-y hole-in-ones”—that’s my motto. And YOU, my friend, need to see my pre-shot ritual. It involves a dance I call “The Floppy Flamingo,” which is basically flapping one leg while humming “Barbie Girl.” Do I keep it weird? Absolutely. Keeps the bad vibes away. **Will:** Now Benny, I gotta ask—what’s the deal with your wild swing? Last week, you practically swung yourself into the projection screen in the middle of the digital jungle-themed back nine. Was that intentional or just another bubblegum-fueled hallucination? **Benny:** Oh, that’s my signature move—the “Wild Banana”. It’s my homage to the jungle, man. Plus, I believe the more chaos I create, the more distracted the opposing team gets. Case in point: last week, I hit the ball… and a giant pixelated lion roared right near their putt. Honestly, I think I drew the lion out just to roast their mental game. *(Camera pans to a CGI lion lounging lazily near a tree on the simulation, with digital bugs buzzing around.)* **Will:** Is that why you refuse to wear real shoes on the course—because you’re convinced digital animals bring good luck? **Benny:** Exactly! Those digital lions? They’re my spirit animals. And speaking of luck, I’ve got a secret weapon: I carry a tiny golf flag that I kissed after every successful shot. Legend has it, if you kiss your golf flag, the golf gods will favor your swing—and, let me tell you, I’ve kissed this thing so much that it’s practically my boyfriend now. **Will:** Well, Benny, it’s clear your superstitions and style are as chaotic as a squirrel on espresso. Thanks for giving us a peek behind the madness. Any final words for the folks tuning in? **Benny:** Yeah, shoutout to Digital Dunes Golf League! Remember folks, whether you’re swinging like a windmill or just tripping over your shoelaces—schedule your next round with TurboTee Golf Balls. They’re guaranteed to make your shot fly like an eagle... or at least with enough mishaps to keep your buddies entertained! *(Benny winks and gives a thumbs-up with a mouthful of bubblegum.)* --- **So come one, come all, to the wildest Tuesday night in the league—6:00 PM at the Digital Dunes. Will Benny and his buddy Brian “The Bunker Bandit” are just waiting to turn the greens into their personal playground of pandemonium. Will your game survive the chaos? Or will you become the next pixelated lion snack?** *Join us next week for more absurd antics, unintentionally viral moments, and check out the league’s official TikTok—where you just might see a digital monkey stealing a ball or a player attempt a no-look shot while juggling flaming torches! The Digital Dunes Golf League: where chaos is the 19th hole.*