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HALFTIME SHOWDOWN: WILL 'IT GO IN' DEHOLE SLAMS THE MAD MULLIGAN MASSACRE

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*By: Chuck "The Putt-Pocalypse" McSlapstick, Digital Dunes Daily* --- **Announcer voice, dramatic and slightly shaky:** "Ladies and gentlemen, we’re at the halfway mark of what can only be described as the most chaotic, surreal, and inexplicably hilarious golf match in DDGL history! We’ve got the notorious duo of Team Flaming Flamingos—featuring Sir Swing-A-Lot, the guy who thinks his club is a magic wand, and The Card Shark, who’s convinced himself that every putt is part of a high-stakes poker game. Facing off against the reigning champions, The Mad Mulligan Massacre—comprised of The Most Superstitious Caddy in the universe, Gregory ‘Lucky’ Lee, and The Human Cartwheel, Lisa ‘The Spin’ Simmons."* **Midfield chaos erupts as our star commentator, Will 'It Go In' deHole, sketches a sideline chat amid the digital debris:** *(Will waddles over, clipboard in one hand, a slice of questionable cheese pizza in the other.)* **Will deHole:** "Alright, folks, I just snagged a moment with The Human Cartwheel herself—Lisa, your game’s been more acrobatic than a circus act. What’s with all the flips?" **Lisa ‘The Spin’ Simmons:** "Well, Will, I figure if I spin fast enough, I’ll confuse the digital wind, the virtual hazards, and my own superstition that I’ll 'accidentally' win the league by sheer chaos." *(A loud shriek echoes as a monkey from the zoo-themed arena backdrop barrels through the digital fairgrounds, knocking over a fan stand.)* **Will:** "Speaking of chaos, Greg ‘Lucky’ Lee—word on the street is you brought a four-leaf clover, a rabbit’s foot, and a... vintage digital penny? How’s that been helping you out?" **Gregory ‘Lucky’ Lee:** "Honestly, Will, I think my mental image of a leprechaun doing the moonwalk is what’s really winning me games. Plus, I told the fans I’d do a dance if I hit a hole-in-one—haven’t done it yet, but stay tuned." *(A moment of silence passes as Greg awkwardly attempts the moonwalk, tripping over his own golf bag.)* **Will:** "Classic! Now, folks, I’ve got inside scoop—word is that the Flaming Flamingos tried to sabotage the course by replacing one of the digital sand traps with a giant clown shoe. The Mad Mulligan Massacre responded by deploying their secret weapon—a virtual llama that’s been ‘attacking’ players with squeaky horns." *(On-screen, the llama is indeed charging at another golfer, who, instead of reacting, just flips it off and takes his shot.)* **Will:** "That, my friends, is dedication. Or outright insanity. Either way, it’s a reminder that in the DDGL, anything can happen—including Lisa turning her cartwheel into a scorecard ace." *(A dramatic pause as Lisa executes a full flip, landing perfectly on her feet, then draining a 40-foot putt with a wink.)* **Will:** "And as we approach the second half, I’ve got to say—no matter who wins, tonight’s match is a reminder to stay loose, stay weird—and maybe leave the digital zoo animals to the pros. Don’t forget, folks: you can catch the full chaos every Tuesday night at 6:00 p.m. right here in the Dunes. Come for the golf, stay for the absurdity, and maybe, just maybe, learn a thing or two about how to turn your backyard into a chaotic golf arena of your own." *(Will raises his slice of pizza as a giant digital turkey waddles past—probably confused about whether it’s a bird or a golf cart.)* **And that’s a wrap for the halftime chaos! Now back to the madness—can the Flaming Flamingos rally, or will the Mad Mulligan Massacre’s llama attack be the game-changer? Stay tuned, folks. The only thing predictable about the DDGL is that nothing’s predictable.**

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